So I'm pretty down right now.
I have been for a little while I suppose. Not my normal self, you know?
If I don't either (a) start making a crapload of money at my current job or (b) get a second job, Gina's going to have to go back to work real soon. And that sucks.
I'm almost 27 years old, I have a wife and a child, and I don't have any solid income. How lame is that? If this was like 5 years ago when receptionists in the mortgage industry were making $10K a month, I wouldn't have a problem.
But I do have a bit of a problem. The plan was that I'd be making enough to support our whole household by now. That's not happening.
So the new problem is that I don't know what I'm going to do, but I've got just under four weeks to figure something out. I'm going to look for some more work, but I don't even feel qualified for much of anything. I could always go back to TJ's, but I kind of like my soul and don't want to totally kill it just yet.
I also feel like I don't do anything. I have time to be with Gina and Audrey, but I don't have any friends. I don't have any money to go and do things. I don't have time to do things that might put me in contact with others.
I'm just not feeling very up with myself right about now. I hope I'll feel different once I suit up and turn in some applications, but this sucks. I mean, the most important thing I've done in the last two weeks was put insulating plastic on the windows in our Audrey's room so we could start her sleeping in there. For most adult males, that's an afternoon project to be done in between football games on a Sunday after a hard week of work.
Crap.
If I don't either (a) start making a crapload of money at my current job or (b) get a second job, Gina's going to have to go back to work real soon. And that sucks.
I'm almost 27 years old, I have a wife and a child, and I don't have any solid income. How lame is that? If this was like 5 years ago when receptionists in the mortgage industry were making $10K a month, I wouldn't have a problem.
But I do have a bit of a problem. The plan was that I'd be making enough to support our whole household by now. That's not happening.
So the new problem is that I don't know what I'm going to do, but I've got just under four weeks to figure something out. I'm going to look for some more work, but I don't even feel qualified for much of anything. I could always go back to TJ's, but I kind of like my soul and don't want to totally kill it just yet.
I also feel like I don't do anything. I have time to be with Gina and Audrey, but I don't have any friends. I don't have any money to go and do things. I don't have time to do things that might put me in contact with others.
I'm just not feeling very up with myself right about now. I hope I'll feel different once I suit up and turn in some applications, but this sucks. I mean, the most important thing I've done in the last two weeks was put insulating plastic on the windows in our Audrey's room so we could start her sleeping in there. For most adult males, that's an afternoon project to be done in between football games on a Sunday after a hard week of work.
Crap.
4 comments:
I feel your pain. And I'm not saying that in a nice kind of way, but I seriously completely understand what you're saying.
I don't bring home any bacon.
I get to spend lots of time with my family, which is amazing, but that's something that homeless people do. I don't think it works to have two housewives in one house.
I'm not quite sure how to make friends. Like I was telling you yesterday, even you and Gmoney are our friends, but we don't really ever do anything together. And I've got lots of almost friends, but because I have kids we can't really be friends.
I'm not sure if I'm explaining everything very clearly. All I'm trying to say is that I understand...and it sucks. I do, though, think that we both can find a slight advantage in all this. Many people are defined by their work, by how much money they make, by the size of their house, etc. But we have the opportunity to be defined by who we are and what we do and etc. etc. etc. So eat that you mean world out there. Eat that with a side of bacon that neither Chris nor I can find.
I'm feeling for you chris. I'm glad we got to see you, gina, and your fancy baby last week, we really enjoyed it. I definitely hope some good job prospects pop up for you.
chris I think I know exactly how you feel. I was where you are about 2 months ago and I'm still there. I know this sounds corny but all I can tell you is keep faith brother. if I can land my dream job and somehow balance family and job and friends (mostly due to my amazing wife), I'm sure you can do better.
you're at a crossroad, my friend.
and I am now Captain Obvious.
so sorry you're down... so sorry indeed. Listen to Ryan's advantage. Its one of the things I admire most about his little brood... You get to spend time with your family. You don't have to say "Yeah.... I went to work 2 days after Audrey was born and now she's graduating from HS and I've seen her for a total of a week."
I wish I had an answer that would solve everything because that is the kind of friend I am. I want to fix what is wrong.
But money is a bitch and I hate her/ him with my whole heart because I/ we need her/ him to do anything.
I say everyone pack up and lets move out there to my Commune Cult.
C'mon Chris.....
Bring your special ladies and your drum.
Steve will bring his banjo and Ryan will bring the projector from Reno.
It'll be grand.
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