I have yet another Tale of Creepy Things People Do - although this one isn't at all about a bathroom.
Have you all noticed that old working-class guys don't seem to EVER clip their nails? It seems like if you are between 65 and 80 years old and do/did a job that kept your hands dirty all the time (landscaper, mechanic, steel worker, etc) it's totally okay to NEVER clip your nails - even if they are about a foot long and so yellow it looks like you pasted Freetos Corn Chips on your fingers.
It's just scary! Long, jagged, yellowed claws flying toward my own hands, clutching a fistful of stinky bills to put into your savings account FREAKS ME OUT! And the thing is, most of them have tons of cash in savings. It's not like they can't afford the $2.49 for a pair of clippers.
Is this just one of the things that I can look forward to when I get old? Is it your right as a oldie to never clip your nails? Can I add that to the List Of Things That Are Going To Rock When I'm Old? Said list includes:
- Leering in an uncomfortable manner at young, cute girls.
- Telling long, boring stories to anyone who comes within three feet of me.
- Lamenting about how things Used To Be all the time.
- Spending fifteen minutes looking at a menu while the waitress waits, before ordering dry toast.
- Being able to tip $.15 on a $35 tab.
- Using racial slurs and not having it held against me.
Seriously: I can't wait until I'm really, really old.
I've got to go back to work now. There are old men with long fingernails waiting for me.
4 comments:
um. ew.
Hey TJ that is what I was going to say!
But also, ladies who have naturally really long nails creep me out too. Not cute long manicured nails, but really really long, wild growing nails. Sick!
And also, once I saw a ladie with super long fake nails reach in her nose with one, dig around, pull it out and then...wait for it...LICK...that's right...LICK the booger out fo her nail!! What the eff!? I threw up.
i think that I'm going to be transferring to the schmarbs near your work? poss? are you on Schlombard?
cause i schmam.
You think their fingernails are bad? You should get a load of some oldsters' toenails. They aren't flexible enough to clip them EVER, so they let them grow for the last 20 or 30 years of their lives. It is quite possibly the most repulsive thing ever.
P.S. You aren't going to have nails like that because you said it was only the old guys who had WORKED for a living. Don't worry.
Post a Comment