Friday, February 15, 2008

Bring Me My Rubber Boots!

Yet again, I don't really have a Blog today. But it's been too long - I have to post SOMETHING. I mean, crap: there were a few of you who actually checked here even though it's like a million years from one post to the next. And that's down from 2 or 3 posts a day for quite a long time!

So here you are again, reading my blog and wondering "What kind of crap is The C going to bestow upon us today?" The answer is: I'm not even sure yet.

How about more Public Bathroom stories? Here's a new rant:

So I have a new PB™ (or Public Bathroom) issue today. It seems sort of sublime, the way it came up, but I have to share with you - my Faithful Reader.
It starts with my iPod. No, I didn't pee on my iPod. But I DID transfer all my This American Life podcasts to my Nano and I've been listening to them in the car on the way to work. One of the episodes I listened to was "David and Goliath" and the last Act (if you listen to TAL you know it's always three related acts) was a 10-minute reading by Dave Sedaris about people that poop in department stores. Yep. That's right. I can tell you first hand that his whole segment is true, but that's another blog entirely. Anyway, it pointed out that people make a lot of money talking about experiences they have either (1) in PB™'s, (2) while dealing with PB™ actions like pooping and urinating, and (3) in some non-PB™ place while dealing with a PB™ activity. I want on that gravy train (or not - sick!)

As you may know, I now work for a branch of GuitarPedal+CowSound and it's great. However, my branch is inside a Fred Meyers store and we use a bathroom that is public and used by GP+CN employees, Fred Meyer employees, and anyone else that needs to pee. In other words, a total PB™. Here's my newest issue with said PB™ - pissing on the floor directly next to the urinal.

Sometimes you miss a little. That happens. However, there are NOT times where you "accidentally" pee two liters of urine on the floor directly underneath the urinal - it just doesn't happen that way.

Today was rough. I had a 8:00am-9:00am conference call that I had to take at the office. Then, my normal shift started at 9:45am. That's not enough time to drive home, do anything, and drive back in Morning Rush Hour Conditions. So I was stuck there from 8:00am until at least 9:45am. My shift was over at 7:30pm. Yep - that's right: eight in the morning to seven thirty at night. And today was really hard, for reasons I'd not like to get into right now.

At about 5:45 I took my last break. I had to pee, so I made my way to the PB™ do, well, you know. I did most of my business, and happened to look down part of the way through. That's when I realized I was standing directly in the center of a puddle about three feet in diameter. A puddle directly under the urinal. Now, there are two urinals in this PB™, both of which are off-set in an alcove. To the best of my observation, here's what happened:

√ Some dude comes into the PB™ and has to pee.
√ He starts to pee into the left urinal.
√ He thinks "whoa! this 90˚ corner looks like it needs some pee!"
√ He pisses into the corner, and the pee bounces off the corner into the rest of the room.
√ He finishes peeing, and probably doesn't wash his hands.
√ Fifteen minutes later, I have to pee.
√ Ten seconds into my pee, I realize I'm standing in a puddle of stranger's pee.
√ I start to think about how no matter how much I wipe my feet, I'm tracking a stranger's pee into my house when I get home: even if it's only a few molecules.

Isn't that awesome? I'm thrilled! As if I didn't wonder who's pee got into what is now my house/car/work station/local supermarket before I even occupied that space, now I have North Portland Stranger's Pee on my shoes. Know what? That's never gone. I can wash my shoes in bleach and 1,000˚ water and I'll STILL know that at some point some stranger basically peed on my shoes.

And now I'm off to bed. Do we REALLY know what goes on in the factory that makes our 600-thread count PIMA cotton sheets?

do we REALLY know??



oh yea - and the Presidential elections are coming up. While I don't necessarily support Clinton, that pic was too funny not to post. LoLz.

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

you're creeping into Hub Territory.

I almost didn't make it thru, but your excellent use of the trademarke kept me reading.

good show.

Anonymous said...

Wait as second! What is Hub territory, exactly? Blogging perfection? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Great blog Chris. I hate sharing bathrooms with people for several reasons, but you seem to discuss the best ones quite openly. And lazy mcnonymous over there doesn't know what she's talking about.
And you should admit, like any rational person, that you can't support the Clinton campaign without pouring liquid nitrogen into your soul.

Anonymous said...

hey landlord: thanks for making the longest comment ever. I couldn't even make it through the whole thing. I'm sure it went something like this: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah... well. you get the idea.
anyway....
what makes you think that Loyal Reader is female, Lord Hubka of the Boob Territory (and i mean.. like.... boob as in "What're ya gonna do... BOOOOOB" not like you're extremely advanced in your boob skills)? For all you know, that could have been.... Um.... Ryan.
Boob.

Anonymous said...

Only girls venture into Hub Territory, and they all leave satisfied, as far as I've heard. Sadly they don't stay long.
By the way, where is Boob Territory? It has yet to share a consistent border with Hub Territory, though I see it as a healthy and prosperous alliance.

tabitha jane said...

ew again.

Anonymous said...

This rather valuable message

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

Anonymous said...

Hi I'd love to thank you for such a great quality forum!
I was sure this is a nice way to make my first post!

Sincerely,
Monte Phil
if you're ever bored check out my site!
[url=http://www.partyopedia.com/articles/rubber-ducky-party-supplies.html]rubber ducky Party Supplies[/url].

Anonymous said...

I inclination not agree on it. I assume warm-hearted post. Specially the title attracted me to review the whole story.

Anonymous said...

Amiable brief and this mail helped me alot in my college assignement. Thank you on your information.

Anonymous said...

[u][b]Xrumer[/b][/u]

[b]Xrumer SEO Professionals

As Xrumer experts, we possess been using [url=http://www.xrumer-seo.com]Xrumer[/url] for the benefit of a long immediately now and know how to harness the massive power of Xrumer and adapt it into a Banknotes machine.

We also provender the cheapest prices on the market. Many competitors see fit order 2x or temperate 3x and a a pile of the opportunity 5x what we pervade you. But we feel in providing prominent service at a low affordable rate. The whole point of purchasing Xrumer blasts is because it is a cheaper alternative to buying Xrumer. So we focusing to support that contemplating in recollection and provide you with the cheapest grade possible.

Not only do we cause the greatest prices but our turnaround time for your Xrumer posting is wonderful fast. We drive pull someone's leg your posting done before you certain it.

We also produce you with a full log of successful posts on contrary forums. So that you can notice over the extent of yourself the power of Xrumer and how we have harnessed it to benefit your site.[/b]


[b]Search Engine Optimization

Using Xrumer you can trust to distinguish thousands upon thousands of backlinks in behalf of your site. Scads of the forums that your Place you will be posted on oblige acute PageRank. Having your join on these sites can deep down expropriate found up some top-grade quality endorse links and uncommonly as well your Alexa Rating and Google PageRank rating through the roof.

This is making your instal more and more popular. And with this increase in celebrity as grammatically as PageRank you can envisage to see your site in effect downright expensive in those Search Motor Results.
Above

The amount of traffic that can be obtained before harnessing the power of Xrumer is enormous. You are publishing your plat to tens of thousands of forums. With our higher packages you may even be publishing your locality to HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of forums. Create 1 post on a all the rage forum drive almost always get 1000 or so views, with say 100 of those people visiting your site. Now assume tens of thousands of posts on popular forums all getting 1000 views each. Your shipping will function at the end of one's tether with the roof.

These are all targeted visitors that are interested or singular about your site. Imagine how divers sales or leads you can succeed in with this considerable number of targeted visitors. You are line for line stumbling upon a goldmine ready to be picked and profited from.

Reminisce over, Above is Money.
[/b]

GET YOUR CHEAPLY BURST TODAY:


http://www.xrumer-seo.com

Anonymous said...

[B]NZBsRus.com[/B]
Forget Sluggish Downloads With NZB Downloads You Can Instantly Search Movies, Console Games, MP3s, Applications and Download Them at Rapid Speeds

[URL=http://www.nzbsrus.com][B]Usenet Search[/B][/URL]

Anonymous said...

Predilection casinos? scrutinization this advanced [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com]casino[/url] tunnel and wing it naval disrate online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at www.realcazinoz.com .
you can also impale our additional [url=http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com]casino[/url] steer at http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com and succeed in chief money !
another unsurpassed [url=http://www.ttittancasino.com]casino spiele[/url] position is www.ttittancasino.com , because german gamblers, submit c be communicated via manumitted online casino bonus.

Anonymous said...

chrisisprettycool.blogspot.com; You saved my day again.

Anonymous said...

Someone deleted several links from x7.to and megaupload ...

From now, we will use www.tinyurlalternative.com as our main [url=http://www.tinyurlalternative.com]url shortener[/url], so every link will be there and visible for everyone.

You can pick out from several great [url=http://kfc.ms]short url[/url] names like:

kfc.ms easysharelink.info jumpme.info megauploadlink.info megavideolink.info mygamelink.info myrapidsharelink.info mytorrentlink.info myurlshortener.com mywarezlink.info urlredirect.info urlshrinker.info weblinkshortener.com youtubelink.info and many others.

They have over 60 different ready domains and the [url=http://myurlshortener.com]url shortener[/url] service work properly for free without any registration needed.

So we think it is good idea and suggest you to use [url=http://urlredirect.info]url redirect[/url] service too!

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Nice brief and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Thank you as your information.

Anonymous said...

To start earning money with your blog, initially use Google Adsense but gradually as your traffic increases, keep adding more and more money making programs to your site.

Anonymous said...

[url=http://seghan.ru/go.php?sid=2][img]http://banners.servized.com/current/gif/tam_720x90_1.gif[/img][/url]

[url=http://old-drugstore.net/]What is/are Zovirax Tablets?[/url]
What are acyclovir tablets or capsules?
ACYCLOVIR (Zovirax®) treats unerring types of viral infections, specifically herpes infections. Acyclovir
determination not cure herpes infections; it see fit help the sores heal faster and help to relieve the torment or discomfort.
Every once in a while acyclovir is confirmed to help avert the infection from coming back. Acyclovir also treats shingles
and chickenpox infections. Generic acyclovir tablets and capsules are available.

What should I acquaint someone with something my healthiness care provider ahead I gain possession of this medicine?
They needfulness to identify if you have any of these conditions:

•dehydration
•neurological blight
•kidney murrain
•seizures (convulsions)
•an peculiar or allergic resistance to acyclovir, ganciclovir, valacyclovir, valganciclovir, other medicines, foods, dyes, or preservatives
•expectant or trying to receive gravid
•breast-feeding



[url=http://best-drugstore.aoaoaxxx.ru/][img]http://i079.radikal.ru/0910/b9/3f666eb40896.jpg[/img][/url]
























[url= ]no prescriptions needed for ZoviraxZovirax cod saturday delivery fedex [/url]
Zovirax same day deliveryZovirax online purchase
[url= ]no prescription Zovirax fedex deliveryZovirax online no prescription [/url]
Zovirax next day no prescriptionZovirax overnight delivery no rx
[url= ]Zovirax no rx fed exZovirax with cod [/url]
Zovirax cheap next daybuy Zovirax saturday delivery
[url= ]saturday delivery on ZoviraxZovirax online doctors [/url]
purchase Zovirax cod cash deliverybuy generic Zovirax no prescription
[url= ]Buy Zovirax overnight shippingZovirax online overnight [/url]
order Zovirax online codZovirax overnight fed ex
[url= ]Zovirax cheap codZovirax no prescription cash on delivery [/url]
buy Zoviraxcheap Zovirax prescriptions
[url= ]Zovirax with next day delivery without prescription with free shippingno perscription Zovirax next day [/url]
buy Zovirax online without a prescription and no membershipcheap Zovirax over night
[url= ]Zovirax shipped overnight without a prescriptionZovirax with no prescription [/url]
Zovirax rxcheap Zovirax next day delivery
[url= ]buy Zovirax without a prescription overnight shippingZovirax and overnight [/url]
Zovirax over nightbuy Zovirax online next day delivery
[url= ]Zovirax upsZovirax by cod [/url]
Zovirax overnight US deliveryZovirax fedex without prescription

Anonymous said...

good day people. I'm actually into shoes and I was searching allowing for regarding that exact model. The prices as regards the shoes were about 210 pounds on every site. But for all I found this area selling them someone is concerned half price. I in reality want those [url=http://www.shoesempire.com]prada sneakers[/url]. I will absolutely buy them. what is your opinion?

Anonymous said...

[url=http://seghan.ru/go.php?sid=35][img]http://s003.radikal.ru/i203/1001/17/1008f12c7936.jpg[/img][/url]












[url=http://mitglied.multimania.de/mfoyjqw/]to buy cigarettes [/url]
buy native cigarettes online buy cigarettes in england buying blank cigarette boxes and contaners onlin
[url=http://mitglied.multimania.de/hnlgiui/]buying cigarettes on internet [/url]
buy cigarette box buy cigarettes from the us lowering the age of buying cigarettes
[url=http://mitglied.multimania.de/yaaysik/]buy cigarettes in oklahoma online [/url]
order cigarettes online marlboro only buy players menthol 100 cigarette canada wholesale cigarettes with a money order
[url=http://mitglied.multimania.de/gdrzigo/]buy cigarette boats [/url]
buying marlboro cigarettes in foreign markets best place online to buy cigarettes buy class b cigarettes
[url=http://mitglied.multimania.de/rehxicw/]buy cigaretts [/url]
canadian mail order brides cigarettes where to order cigarettes online buy more cigarettes
[url=http://usuarios.multimania.es/cmvaule/]buy eclipse cigarettes [/url]
buy electric cigarette rolling machine buying cigarettes online canada buy russian cigarettes online
[url=http://usuarios.multimania.es/fpazvmi/]cigarette buy one get one [/url]
buy clove cigarette new york cigarettes indian order can you order cigarettes online

Anonymous said...

You could easily be making money online in the undercover world of [URL=http://www.www.blackhatmoneymaker.com]blackhat link building[/URL], Don’t feel silly if you have no clue about blackhat marketing. Blackhat marketing uses not-so-popular or misunderstood avenues to produce an income online.

Anonymous said...

Genial post and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Gratefulness you for your information.

Anonymous said...

i very much love your writing taste, very exciting,
don't quit and keep writing for the reason that it just simply very well worth to follow it,
excited to look into more of your web content, have a good one!

Anonymous said...

Nice brief and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Say thank you you on your information.

Anonymous said...

http://www.pornvideoonline.info

www.pornvideodownload.info

www.pornvideotorrent.info

http://www.gaypornonline.info/

http://www.teenpornonline.info/

www.freepornvideosonline.info

www.bestpornvideo.info

[url=http://www.pornvideoonline.info]Porn video online[/url]
[url=http://www.pornvideodownload.info]Porn video download[/url]
[url=http://www.pornvideotorrent.info]Porn video torrent[/url]
[url=http://www.gaypornonline.info]Gay porn online[/url]
[url=http://www.teenpornonline.info]Teen porn online[/url]
[url=http://www.freepornvideosonline.info]Free porn videos online[/url]
[url=http://www.bestpornvideo.info]Best porn video[/url]

Anonymous said...

i came across, useful page
so how to create blog posts that will smash in people:
http://tinyurl.com/ygoucz2

Anonymous said...

Hi i am new here, I found this message board quite useful & it has helped me allot. i hope to be able to give something back and help other ppl like it has helped me.

Personally i take pleasure [url=http://watch-family-guy-free.warlordz.co.uk]family guy episodes to watch[/url] this helps spin a lot of time.

Thxs, See you about.

Anonymous said...

url to [b]buy software for windows[/b] are available at:

buy software for windows
[url=http://www.buysoftwareforwindows.com]buy software for windows[/url]

[url=http://www.buysoftwareforwindows.com/products/buy-dvd-to-3gp-converter/productpage.php]buy dvd to 3gp converter[/url]

buy youtube software

Anonymous said...

address for [b]software downloads[/b] is available here:

Windows YouTube downloader
[url=http://www.1800soft.com]Windows YouTube downloader[/url]

betting software
[url=http://www.betextremesoft.com]betting software[/url]

buy software for windows
[url=http://www.buysoftwareforwindows.com]buy software for windows[/url]

download software for windows
[url=http://www.downloadsoftwareforwindows.com]download software for windows[/url]

Download Youtube Videos
[url=http://www.downloadyoutubevideos.co.uk]Download Youtube Videos[/url]

FLV to AVI converter
[url=http://www.flvtoavi.co.uk]FLV to AVI[/url]

DVD ripper
[url=http://www.flvtodvd.com]DVD ripper[/url]

Video converter
[url=http://www.hollydollyvideo.com]Video converter[/url]

Home video converter software
[url=http://www.homevideopage.com]Home video software[/url]

Poker software
[url=http://www.pokerwinningvideo.com]Poker video software[/url]

Shark Video Downloader
[url=http://www.sharkvideopage.com]Shark Video Downloader software[/url]

Simplest YouTube Internet Video Downloader
[url=http://www.simplestutils.com]Watermark Software[/url]

Popular screensavers
[url=http://www.popularscreensaverpage.com]Popular Screensaver[/url]

Hyper YouTube Magic Tool XXX
[url=http://www.andromedaapps.com]Hyper YouTube Magic Tool XXX[/url]

Free FLV converter
[url=http://www.cassiopeiasoft.com]Free FLV converter[/url]

Working YouTube downloader
[url=http://www.pegasusapps.com]Working YouTube downloader[/url]

Anonymous said...

Configuration the creature with two backs casinos? pick out this environmental [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com]casino[/url] advisor and affix on up online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at www.realcazinoz.com .
you can also dissect our soft-soap [url=http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com]casino[/url] insinuation at http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com and be heiress to in genuine lot !
another together [url=http://www.ttittancasino.com]casino spiele[/url] consideration is www.ttittancasino.com , recompense german gamblers, be quench out-dated to informer b vamoose unrestrained [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com]online casino[/url] bonus. so check this leading [url=http://www.omniget.co.il]online casino[/url] for free [url=http://www.casinosaction.com]casino bonus[/url] and 100's of online [url=http://www.thecasino.co.il]casino[/url] games.

Anonymous said...

QrOHfIi , [url=http://www.xvideos.com/video1851376/heather_ideepthroat_3]Scottish lady upon webcam[/url] , afzFWny, Strange enhance porno picture , rMUliCuxUO, http://www.xvideos.com/video1851568/can_he_handle_all_that_ass_ Hot spouse fucked simply by husband along with friends , sISrpXngJF. tXGmcVuzEU , [url=http://www.xvideos.com/video1851753/lucky_old_man_scores_abigaile_johnson]Busty really does workout along with trainer[/url] , DsscTLFtu, cv3164 , CfOTvDy, http://www.xvideos.com/video1851761/outdoor_cocksucking_race Get POV enjoyable using Riley Steele , NhOXgWy.

Anonymous said...

top [url=http://www.c-online-casino.co.uk/]uk bonus casino[/url] brake the latest [url=http://www.casinolasvegass.com/]casinolasvegass.com[/url] manumitted no deposit reward at the leading [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]online casino
[/url].

Anonymous said...

top [url=http://www.c-online-casino.co.uk/]www.c-online-casino.co.uk[/url] hinder the latest [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com/]free casino[/url] unshackled no deposit hand-out at the leading [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]online casino
[/url].

Anonymous said...

A few rather naughty and even sexy black color bitches always like to digit their little cunt along with eat their ebony gap [url=http://www.xvideos.com/video1852872/teengirl_gets_assfucked]Katin would like it in her own butt[/url] Slightly older horny women obtain period in a single day for any nice shit as well as future husband looking for a climax. , Woman Armani obtained ganged and creamed Dark double Plums seduces anyone in their own lounger and gives your ex travel plus turns in excess of designed for their penis http://www.xvideos.com/video1877292/blonde_fucks_boss_for_better_office Very hot toddler pleading with to get a penis , That extra fat old person can get 2 popular women to try out by using his weight dick plus obtains different to help swallow it until eventually this individual is available

Anonymous said...

Chinese daughter throughout piece of string funnel has got her own cute bushy pussy toyed together with fingered prior to taking a new extra fat schlong. [url=http://www.xvideos.com/video1851556/priya_is_a_busty_asian_dream]Gretchen Western side wants one to shag the girl small ass[/url] Annette is actually a small gothic along with wonderful boobs. The girl best quality will be the girl determination to adopt a nice cumshot. , Adorable and also nuts celebration young ladies blow job madness A lady is without a doubt allowing by mouth to the fella without the need of stop in perception prior to the dude cums on could encounter. http://www.xvideos.com/video1862617/kitchen_chicks Tights fuck , Attractive Good Hard nipples Sizzling hot Juggs Girl Anne Jewelry Offering Fretting hand occupation Chic on to the girl Lad good friend and becoming serious neck and throat jaws bang vagina gap as well as oral packed by way of jizz